Java with Justin

Over the last couple weeks, we have seen a handful of celebrities: Ricky Martin, Chely Wright and Jennifer Knapp coming out as gay, with that I have seen the views of member of the Christian community and even those outside of the Christian community.  With those that may or not know my background of being a son of an ordained minister and even I was in the ministry for a short period of time myself, might be surprised on the view of point that I have on this particular topic. I do realize that my point of view may or may not matter to anyone, butlike anyone I have an opinion. 

I feel that all that matters is whether or not someone is happy with who they are, and they are happy with the life they are leading.  It is better that someone is honest with himself or herself than hiding their true self in the fear of rejection.  There are many in this world, in church congregations and in schools that fear therejection of someone knowing the secrets. They might even fear that the unconditional love from their friends and family may perhaps come with conditions. 

Over the years, I have listened to the music of Ricky Martin, Chely Wright and Jennifer Knapp.  I have always seen them as performer,whose music may or may not have influenced me as some point, like singers that you would find in the same genres of music as these three individuals.  Growing up I was taught that it was the character of the individual, not appearance or sexuality or anything else.

I do realize that I grew up in the Bible-belt, which is where I continue to live that sees various things a little bit differently.  Some would also saythat it is not right to fall in love, or want to spend your life with someone of the same gender as they are.  I say, that we as humans are not the ones that decide whether or not someone is living their life right in our individual points of views.  I believe that only God, the Creator has decision on any matter.

Throughout my life I have heard and seen someone quick to point out what they feel is someone else’s faults.  I have seen countless times thatsomeone in the church runs to scripture that they often take out of context.  The intent that thewriter of the scripture may or may not have intended for the modern audience that is reading the writings today. I do not pretend to be a theologian or be an expert of the Bible, but I grew up in the church and for a short period of my life, I was a Bible student on the collegiate level. 

In no way am I trying to get anyone to believe the same way that I do. In writing this blog entry I am throwing my two cents in.  I felt that I should say something after reading different writings from individuals in mainstream community and the Christian community.  

The results have been announce from the modeling contest I was a part of. I want to thank everyone for their votes.

Hey Folks. 

After only using PCs for the passed 20 years (yes, I started using a computer in the first grade), I have decided to switch things up and become an Apple person.  With using Apply computers in computer labs and even using my roommate's Apple computer, I had decided to have one of my own.  I believe that owning my own personal Apple would make the process of writing my novel and recording music, a little bit more easy.

So, there you go...I'm an Apple user. 

It's crazy to me that I have been living in Nashville for 2 years. I have experienced so much and there is a lot that I have yet to experience as well. I would not have made thus far if I didn't have the love and support of close friends of mine. There has been many times that I have thought about packing up my bags and going back to the surroundings that I was familiar with. Thank you to those in my life that told me that I need to stick it out and do what I came to this city to do.

I am part of modeling contest that I am going to need you help with. What you do is follow this link ( http://www.nashvillenewzine.com/Fashion.html ), then you can click on the link that says "vote". You are able to vote for me once a day, from today (February 15) to April 12. Under "My Vote is For:" enter Justin. Thank you very much in advance for your help.

We are a month into the brand new year and it has already brought  new adventures into my life.

I have decided recently to begin the process of writing a book. Ever since I was 18 years old I have wanted to write a book and I figured that the present time is the best as any.  It was around the same time that I started to have english professor telling that I had the making of a great writer and that I should try to write a book sometime. I felt that I should give it a try and see what happens. Prehaps I may find the startings of a writing career.

Just recently I have been contacted about a local contest in reguards to modeling. I figure what would it hurt to give it a try. Prehaps I may end up back in modeling. We shall see. Anything is possible.

I do realize that it has been a while since I have written a blog entry. We are saying goodbye to 2009 and say hello to a brand new year. I am excited about the unknown that is around the corner for my personal life and for my professional life. I hope that everyone a happy New Year.

Over the last couple of week I have been debating over something and I feel that I have made the decision that I can live with. I have decide to put less engery into my modeling and place more into my writing, as well as my pursuit of the music industry.

I have asked close friends and family, their thoughts over what I should do. Where the final decision would be only mine to make.

If the right job comes along I will step back in front of the camera as a model. I will not close myself off to the possibly of doing a project that might be right for me. So, please do not hesitant to contact me.

This was not a decision that I want rush into. I have had a few people tell me that it was something that I should not stop focusing on. 

I believe that I have made the right decision for myself. 

Take it easy. I will be sharing my writing with you shortly and you never know when I might have new photos for you.

I have been looking over my different writings to see what I want to show with the recreating of my website. I begin to think about what things that I want to put out there that I don't want to be too personal. Then again, a lot of my writings that I have gotten awards for have been ones that come from a personal place.

I write about things that I know. I never write about something I can not relate to. Often the best writings that I read from other writers are ones that are very personal. 

Perhaps with sharing my writings, I will be more open. I will share my experience and relive the moments in my life that I am writing about. I write about my joys, my hurts and the times of confusion in my life. 

So, as you will begin to check back on my website and on my blog entries. You will begin to see the man that I have become and an insight to the journey that I have taken thus far. I will always be nervous to release a piece of writing to the public view. But, how will I ever get anywhere as a writer, as a lyricist, as a songwriter if I always keep things close.  My writing has been and will always be for me, but it's time that I share it with others. And hopefully I will find a career in this area, if it's meant to be. 

I will be exposed. I will be raw in the words that I leak on a page. 

Thank you guys. Have a good night.

Well folks, I turned another year older. I don't really feel any different, but I will tell you that I have changed and learned a lot in this passed year of my life. Whether it was personal or in my pursuing of my dreams in the music industry. I have become stronger and I have learned so much about myself and the world around me.

I realize that as I write this, that there are a few more hours in the day. So, I better let you go. I am going to continue enjoying my birthday. 

Hey Folks!

I thought I would give a little insight into what all is going on. I had discussed with my roommate what I should do show that I am more than just a place.

One of the reason that I move to Nashville is to break into the music industry writing songs and being a preformer. One thing that my roommate had help me notice that I needed to present myself on my website as a writer and as a musician. One thing that my website is photos from my modeling portfolio, but that's about it. 

In about a week or so with some assistance I will be rebuilding my website to show you different things that I am able to do. I will put 5 to 10 pieces of writing to show you my ability as a writer. Not only will I be sharing pieces of my writing via of my website, I will be using blog as another way to share my writing. 

I hope that you will continue to check back to read some of my writings via of my blog, as well as my website. 

Take care.

Last night, while my roommate and I were out at Petsmart we had decided to look at the kittens that they had there for adoption. We ended up seeing a few kittens that we were interested in playing with for a little bit.

I had asked to see if I could interact with a little kitten that they had been given the name "Trevor." Now this little kitten was described as being shy, but I was by no means worried about him being shy. The moment that the employee at the pet store handed the kittenover to me, I knew that I had to take him home. 

My roommate has known that I wanted a cat for a while and have not had a kitten of my own since I was about 8 years old. With my birthday coming up in less than a month, he asked me if I was wanting to receive a kitten for a birthday present. 

As of right now, I have the kitten is my bathroom until he gets comfortable being in a new surrounding and get to the point that he is ready to interact with my roommate's adult cat.

I have decided to give him the name of "Ryman," because of my love for country music and the type of music that I want to one day write for and hope break into as a singer. Not only that knows me would not be surprised by the fact that I have decided to give my new kitten the name, "Ryman." 

Things are good at time and a little confusing at times. I moved to Nashville full of hope and dreams of the unknown.

For the first time in writing blog entries I will be honest in saying that I don't know what to do. I'm not sure where to turn, how to submit writings and who are the right people to talk to.

I do realize that I have not been here for very long and I can't expect to have things falling to place so quickly. Since the age of 13 years old, I have wanted to be a songwriter and have my lyrics be the way that I leave a mark on this world. But, the unfortunate thing is that my strength is a the writing of the lyrics and my weakness is putting an accompaniment to go with the lyrics. I do realize that I will always be someone that will co-wrote with another person.

I don't know how to go upon asking someone here in Nashville, if they want to write with me. Or even if a music publishing company would wanted to take a chance on me when I have nothing to really show them other than a bunch of notebook of words that I want so much to make into songs.

If any one reading this blog could give me advice or direction, I would be most grateful.  You can get a hold of me through my email (justin@justinhowellonline.com) or any of my different profiles on MySpace or facebook.

Hey Folks,

I know that it's been a while since the last time I sat down to write a blog entry. I have just been living life and trying my best to go with the flow.

I have been working on trying to make connection with individuals within the music and modeling businesses. I have been looking and asking around about vocal coaches here in Nashville. I feel that I need to study with someone to get my voice back in shape. As I get older, it is getting hard to keep the range that I had about 5 years ago and it has become difficult to be effortless with reaching notes in my higher vocal range. So, I feel that I need to get my voice in so what of a shape in order to get back out there and perform. 

As for my modeling pursuits, I have not been stepping in front of the camera, as often as I would like. I have been spending a little bit of time behind the photo shoots and helping a local photographer here in Nashville. 

It looks as though I will be stepping in front of the camera for a few days this summer. I have one photo shoot in the works, where the photographer and I have yet to pin-point a date in order to work together. Hopefully, we'll be able to get things worked out. 

Yesterday, I was asked to go to a photo shoot that will be lasting a day in the middle of August. Which means that I will have to workout a lot until that day so I can feel that I will be putting my best forward.  

That's about it for now. Take it easy. 

Soon after moving to Nashville, I was told by someone, “This industry is full of people that are not here to make your dreams come true. This is an industry full of people that are trying so hard to make you go back from where you came from. So, you have to show them how badly you want this.” When I heard that I thought it was a statement, but I did not realize at the time that it was a bit of advice.

The music industry is difficult to break into. American Idol and similar show make seem as if it something you can do with breaking a sweat. In the case of American Idol, it may be true but you have show the industry how badly you wanted to be a part of it in the first place. Where Carrie Underwood was once quoted in a television interview, as saying, that American Idol made it easy to get her name out there but once she entered the industry, that is when the real work started.

Recently, I had recorded a few songs that were covers of songs that people had heard many times before. They are not the best recordings, not only because I had recorded them in my apartment, but because I am by no means a recording engineer. I was asked by the company that I currently work for, to record a few songs in order to give them an idea of what I sound like. The recordings were not intended to be handed to music producers or anyone in the music industry.

I thought I would send the recordings to a few friends that I have outside of the music industry to get their opinion. Never did I imagine that one of the friends that I had sent them two would send them off to a music producer that has worked with the likes of Britney Spears and Ashlee Simpson, just to name a few. The feedback that I had gotten from the music producer, or should I say second-handed feedback, was that I should pursue another dream because singing was not what I was supposed to do with my life. I do realize that some music producers work with singers and genres of music that fit their own person taste, but it still hurts when you heard someone flat out say that you suck. You begin to doubt yourself and wonder if you have wasted time on a dream that was never meant to become reality in the first place.

I have always been told to have a thick skin. Over the years I have built my skin up to take whatever people have to say about my voice and my musical talent. Sometime it just hurt to have someone tell you that you do not have what it takes.

Last night I feel so down about myself. Where it was as if I was saying, excuse me, pity party for one. I am trying so hard to use this as fuel to keep pushing and keep follow the dream that I have had since I was little. To have just one album released. To have just one time to turn on the radio and hear myself. Sometime it seems that the more that I try to follow this dream, the more that it feels so far away. Perhaps it is because I have wanted this dream to be reality for so long.

Don't ever give up on your dreams, because I'm not ready to give up. I've only just begun. One rejection is just another step closer.

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